Lil Damien's 2nd month progress

Yum yum! :p

He loves to smile now, especially after drinking milk and changed his diaper! :D


But he loves to frown as much! LOL!


What did lil damien mastered this 2 months?

~ Loves to watch tv (He knows which part is climax)
~ Wants to sit up like a big baby
~ Loves to smile & frown
~ Baby talks, he will respond when we talk to him
~ Recognises me, will turn his head and look for me when i'm moving
~ Curious to his surroundings, will recognise his home
~ Loves to play with his tongue
~ Treat his hand as yum yum
~ Not wearing mittens already
~ Doesnt sleep much, keep want to play
~ He kicks are strong and will move upwards when he kicks
~ Only loves to fart when he drinks milk
~ Loves to gek for shit. LOL
~Will fake cry. =.="

Overdued post: Lil damien is hospitalised

Lil damien is hospitalised when he is 6 days old.
Hus brought damien back for check up with the PD at TMC,
to check if he had murmur sound in his heart and jaundice.
The stupid bloody doctor said he didnt heard any murmur sound in damien's heart
but damien had high level of jaundice and told us to head to hospital for the uv ray.
I was so relieved that damien only had jaundice but no murmur sound.
Hence, hus brought damien down to KKH to treat his jaundice.
When i thought everything would be alright, hus told me that the doctors at kkh told him
that they heard murmur sound in lil damien's heart and they suspect that damien had
a hole in his heart. My heart sank to the bottom, i was so sad.
The PD at TMC told us that lil damien is alright and now normal doctors who are not PD
told us that lil damien may have a hole in his heart. WTF is the PD doing?
You are a children doctor yet you couldnt hear any murmur sound in his heart
and that he may have a hole in his heart! Fuck you bloody doctor! Screw you~!

The doctors who heard murmur sound in damien's heart informed the cardio doctor
and they came to take a look at damien. The cardio doctor told me he's quite sure that
lil damien had a hole in his heart after he heard the murmur sound.
But to confirm if the hole is big or small, he did a x-tray for lil damien.
If it's a small hole, it's alright to leave it and it will heal on it's own. But if it's a big hole,
then lil damien need to be operated. And so unluckily, damien's hole was a big one.
The hole is about 0.5mm hence considered big and the cardio doctor advised us to
let damien to be operated to close the hole in his heart. I cried i teared when i heard all those.
He's so small and have to undergo surgery, the pain in my heart is undescribable.
I rather i was the one who have hole in the heart, i rather i take all these for my son.
The days when damien was in hospital, i was so sad. I didnt go and see him for almost a week
cause i was still at the early stage of my confinement and my stiches still hurt alot.
I wanted to go and see my boy so much but i cant, my parents and hus dont allow me to go.
But i managed to persuade them to let me go after lil damien's operation, when he's in ICU.
I was so sad, i felt like my heart was ripped apart when i saw my boy after the operation.
He had tubes all over him and he looked so weak and small. I didnt take any photos of him
just after the operation cause i was really too sad. I felt like a part of me is being removed.
And i cant stop blaming myself that damien had a hole in his heart.
Till now, i still cant forget the day i saw him with tubes all over him.
My emotions changed when i was doing this post, i frown and felt so bitter and sad.
Damien stayed in the hospital for almost a month and spent his full month at the hospital.
This really break my heart! Why other babies can spend celebrate their full month happily
but not our damien! I can only blame myself for that.
Hus was so worried that i will get depression that he hide the reason that damien caught
an infection that affected him more and cause him to stay in hospital for a longer period.
I really broke down when i know that he caught the SRV virus after his operation.
I kept thinking why must my son go through all these at his young age!?
What have i done to deserve all these!? I never done any harm to anybody or curse anyone.
Why must my son suffer so much!? Why cant i suffer for him? I kept thinking..

But now, everything had past. Lil damien had recovered completely though he still need
to go for reviews at KKH every 3-6 months. He's growing strong and happy now.
And that's all that matters, as long as he's healthy everything is worth it.
I will love him double and give him double of my love, like everyone does.
My family and hus's family all doted lil damien like a gem a precious gem!

Caught daddy in action! He sayang lil damien,
and smiling so happily cause damien is recovering

Look at his mouth!! So cute! Lol :D
He's at step down unit, tubes are removed as he can breathe without help already.

My dear boy sleep so soundly until his head is off the pillow. Lol.

When he just transferred over from ICU.


When lil damien is in ICU, the big tube is a aid to assist him to breathe after operation.

Hus carrying lil damien and sayang him on his head.
And damien seems to know that daddy's here.

My poor boy! My heart aches so much when i look at all these photos.



Hus talked to lil damien and he's trying to hear and see if damien replied him.
LOL. Lame hus. But he's trying to make me smile that moment.

Lil damien's good daddy!


When he's 1 week old, undergoing the uv ray for jaundice.

Lil Damien's Birth Story

Lil damien will be 3 weeks old tomorrow, and i still haven blog about his birth story.
Ooops! So, i shall blog now! Hehe! :D


PART 1.
By right, lil damien's edd was on the 31st aug, and i had an appointment with Dr Chua
on the 26th aug. Went for the appointment as usual feeling anxious and excited.
Cause last checkup baby's head is not engaged yet and Dr Chua said i will give birth
real close to my edd. Went for my checkup at gleneagles and Dr Chua said baby's head
engaged already! I was so happy, lil damien is ready to come out soon.
And to my surprise, my gynae said i have already dilated 2cm. Woah!
I was quite shock at the moment. Hus called and asked me how's my checkup after that.
Told him what my gynae said and i can feel that he really can feel that he's going
to be a dad soon! Took bus back to my own home myself and had lunch etc.
After lunch, i could feel slight pain in my lower tummy, wasnt sure if it was contraction
pain at that moment cause this is my first one and i am really blur.
Told mum that i had the pain after my checkup and explained to her the type of pain.
She told me that's the contraction pain but have to observe more because my
contraction very long then pain once, like half an hour like that.
Chatted with mum the whole afternoon, about life, give birth etc.
Make me real nervous about giving birth. The contraction pain got closer and closer
when it's evening time, hus reached my house and i told him about it. He looked so
i dont know how and asked me to observe how frequent is the contractions.
We still played mahjong at home, cause i feel that it's the last time i can play mahjong
till after my confinement. The pain grew stronger and stronger.
Mahjong ended around 10pm and dad and mum asked me to quickly go home
take a bath and head down to thomson medical.
My mum said impossible to pain whole day, i should be going to give birth already.
So dad drove us home, i checked my hospital bag, took a bath and get ready to head
down to hospital. But then i still dont feel the untolerable contraction pain and texted
sandy to ask her. She told me to take note of the contraction time and the time
in between while she help me ask Dr Chua for her opinion if i should go down
to the hospital now. Dr Chua told me not to go down first until i really find
the pain untolerable. And i really didnt go down. We went to bed after awhile.


PART 2
Next day morning around 4am, i was awaken by the pain. Felt quite uncomfortable.
But i still fell asleep on and off till around 7am. I really feel the contractions pain getting
more and more frequent and unbearable. But that day was presidential voting 27th aug,
and i told hus to quickly go and have his vote before we head down to TMC.
Hus went voting at 8am, the earliest time to vote.
I took a long bath at home, had breakfast And we cab down to TMC around 10 plus.
Reached the hospital and we went to delivery ward.
The nurse checked and said i only dilated 2cm, early larbour still and told me she will
inform my gynae. We waited till around noon, they told me that Dr Chua
will be coming around 3pm. But, she came at 1.30pm. Was really glad to see her.
Cause i really quite worried. Dr Chua checked on me and i dilated 3cm. I was like wth!?
I pain for more than one day already dilate 3cm only.
And at that moment i really feel that my contraction pain is real painful.
Told my gynae i dont want to wait already cause i pain for very long already.
She told me she understand and said that she's going to burst my water bag now.
She apologised to me too, saying that immediately after my checkup i am going
to give birth. Told her it's okay, no worries. Dr Chua is really a very good gynae.
After she burst my water bag, i could feel the intense pain. Pain like hell man!!
But i still didnt request for epidural, i keep tolerate.. until i really bui tahan already.
The nurse came and i requested for epidural and the nurse still sarcastic say
just now she asked me want epidural i still say wait, cant wait one this type. Kns!
Anesthetic doctor came and injected the epidural into my spine. Fucking pain!
I never imagined that it would be so painful. Like injected a row into my spine.
The nurse still hold onto me, worried that i would figet when i felt painful.
I felt super relieved after the epidural, totally painless!
After injecting the epidural, i can smile and laugh and talk to hus.
Could use my iphone too. Lol. Hus took an ugly photo of me using my iphone 4.
Waited till 5 plus and Dr Chua came and asked me how was it etc and she checked
how much have i dilated again. And within 4 hours i was already 8cm dilated.
She said the progress is good and that i can get ready to give birth soon, and told me
that she will come again around 7pm to help me deliver my baby.
Was really excited and worried about the pushing part later on.
Nurses came at around 6pm and pushed me into the real delivery ward, they told me
that they should push me in earlier but there wasnt enough delivery ward, all of them
are full. They said alot of babies choose to be born on presidential election day.
I was like LOL, my lil damien too. Haha. I was still in the happy happy mood, zero pain
feel mood, watching television. Till Dr Chua came and said i am ready to give birth.
Then i started to feel abit gan qiong, worried that i dont know how to "push"
cause i got no pushing feel at all due to the epidural. It really last long for me.
I was painless and numb all the way even till when i was "pushing".
A nurse, Dr Chua & hus was there encouraging me to push. Pushing was not easy,
i had to hold my breath for 10 secs and push.
Really need alot of energy and stamina to push. I felt so out of breathe.
But with the support of hus, i pushed real hard during all my contractions.
PUSH & PUSH & PUSH......
Took less than 45 mins of pushing and i heard lil damien's cry! Lil damien is out!

♥ Welcome lil damien ♥

Hugging lil damien in my arms, i was like " Finally! He's out! "

I know i very cui. Lol. Using my iphone 4 to upload lil damien's picture to facebook :D

Date of birth: 27 August 2011
Weighing: 3.300kg
Length: 50cm

One eye open. *Wink*


Awwww.. open eye.

Love this photo max! Damien's nose look exactly like mine! :D

Ooopss.. Mummy didnt sensor away my private part :x

I am cleaned and lying with mummy!! ^^
This picture was taken by my sis.
My sis & youngest brother came to see me immediately
after she know that i gave birth. Touched! :)

*Yawned yawned* Tireddd~

My handsome damien ♥

Daddy sayang sayang.

Hus trying to carry lil damien and pass to me.
He looked so serious and cautious! :)

Hus passed lil damien to me.
And i fell asleep too when carrying him in my arms.
I love him so much!
Lil Damien is sleeping but i cant help to but to touch him.
Start to have the mummy feel. Haha.

My stitch really hurt alot, the particular night that i gave birth to him i cant sleep at all.
I called for the nurse and told her, she called and let my gynae know.
Dr Chua came awhile later and asked them to give me painkillers and a jab to ease
my pain and let me sleep. I was sad that hus wasnt allowed to stay overnight in
the hospital, 2-bedded room cant, only one bedded room can. Wth lo!
Never mind lo, i sleep alone. Hus came early in the morning the next day and
accompanied me. Chat with hus and asked him to push lil damien to my ward.
Bond with lil damien. Hus keep looking at damien too. Haha.
Tried to latch lil damien with the help of a professional nurse but still unsuccessful.
Teared when i see lil damien cry when he's hungry and cant latch from my breast.
Hus encouraged me and asked me not to cry. Haha.
My mil and hus's sis came and my family arrived awhile later.
They were all so happy to see lil damien. And i was so happy to see my dad and mum.
They stayed for a few hours and leave for dinner.
But hus is always there to accompany me!
Aiying came in the evening, with a pack of mamy poko pants. Thanks! :)
Peizhen sis came after math, shortly after aiying arrived.
Thanks for the visit my dear sisters :)
It was time for me to discharge the next morning. Hus came early in the morning too.
Dad and mum came to send me home, while hus settle the hospital bill and
baby's birth cert etc. Talking about the hospital bill, tsk tsk! Expensive lo!
Our total hospital bill is $5100.
Can you imagine how expensive it is! Natural birth somemore leh!
The epidural itself cost $400+. *Shake head* Bloody expensive.
My gynae's fee.. Hus keep complain very expensive but i told him at least Dr Chua
is responsible and professional. Worth it lah hus.
Only the hospital fees really...expensive! All mummies, consider KKH as your first
choice unless the gynae you want is not at KKH.

Welcome lil damien

I wanted to blog today but internet connection was too lousy.
I cant even upload any pictures cause it's really too slow.
So i can only have a short update using blogpress.
Lil damien is born on the 27 aug, the presidential election day! Haha.
I didnt expect to be on that day and i dislike the date 27 as well.
Dislike odd number especially 7. But well, my dear boy chose to be born on that day
so i have to love the date. It's not important anyway.
Lil damien is 2 weeks and 4 days old today. And i miss him so much!
He's still in hospital. I dont really want to explain why he's in hospital now.
But i will blog again after he's back when he's really better.
I hope my buddhist god will bless him and let him get well soon, have a speedy recovery.
And father in law, please watch over and bless your grandson Lwa Qi An.

Ps: Dear damien, mummy miss you.
Be strong and recover well.
You are mummy's darling forever! I love you! <3

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Stress

25th aug, 6 more days to my edd. I wonder why lil damien still haven come out.
He really coming out on his edd? His head not engaged yet since last checkup.
Hope his head will be engaged my friday, my next checkup.
I very stress, really very stress. Stress about many things and keep thinking.
I cant relax at all. I dont know why. I really very scared i will get depression after my birth.
I damn scared. Worried about other things also, about baby etc.
Hais. Why woman think so much?!
I am feeling so lonely and kinda helpless right now.
Feel that i am alone on myself, there's no one there for me.
Hus makes me feel sad too, and disappointed. I am sad! I am very sad.
Sigh! I really hope i can sleep. Close my eyes and sleep immediately.
I dont want to think of anything anymore!!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Excited

Lil damien's ultrascan, he's 2.7kg now :D
Lil damien's clothes from carter's arrived last friday!

I am back to blogging! Have not been blogging for almost 2 weeks.
I was lazy and didnt know what to blog too.
Went for checkup at kkh last thursday. Lil damien is weighing 2.7kg now, and i am 59kg! :(
I am so heavy lah! Think i will reach 60kg by the time i give birth. Sian lo.
And btw, lil damien is not engaged yet and Dr Chua said that i will give birth near to my edd,
meaning i will not give birth so soon. Still got 16 days to my edd. Really cant wait to give birth!
My next checkup will be at gleneagles. Should be this saturday, haven fix an appointment yet.
I hope my dear boy's head will be engaged this checkup. I very gan qiong to see him. Very!
We didnt go anywhere last and this weekend. Oh yar! Hus and i went to west mall last saturday.
He changed an iphone 4 white for me while he used my black iphone 4. So sweet of him!!
I suggest to him say ask him take iphone 4 white for me and exchange with me and he really did!
Hus really dote me alot alot. I knew it but i always tend to deny it when we quarrelled.
Felt so guilty everytime after i cool down from quarreling. Sorry hus!
But you know i dont mean it, what i said are all anger words.
I know how much you love and dote me! I really do! I am sure you could feel it too.
I love you hus!!! Love you much much! :D

August, this is the month i am waiting for.

I really love this picture! :D

Camwhore & camwhore. Hehe.

Fisherprice rocker hus bought for lil damien. He bought it cause the discount price is seductive.

This is my favourite meiji sweet, soft soft one. Very nice!

It's august! Yeah! I've been waiting for so long, this is the month!
I will be in my 36 weeks tomorrow, the last month. And one more week to my full term!
I really very excited and nervous. Have been thinking which date will my lil damien choose to
arrive to this world! Really cant wait to see him. Have been waiting for 9 months just to see him!Hus is as excited too! Though he didnt express or say anything but i can feel it strongly.
He keep looking at baby's stuffs and things for him to use whenever we are at the baby's department. 2 weeks ago, he look at baby pram and bought it.
Anyway, the combi baby pram arrived today! Happy! We bought everything lil damien will need!And last saturday, we went to bugis BHG and OG and hus was looking at baby stuffs all the way too. He keep asking me if baby need this and that and will it be good. Till i found him abit irritating. Lol. But he really look very fatherly and lovely! My cute hus! Love him! :D
We bought a Avent set of 2 milk bottles, which 2 pacifer, and water bottle kinda bottle for
12 months baby and a hook for pacifer to be hook on for only $36. It's damn cheap lo!
The 2 milk bottles already cost around $32 plus and the pacifer around $14.
If we were to seperate and buy the things in the set, it will cost us more than $50.
But we bought this set for only $36. Damn worth it! Even hus said so. Haha.
My eyesight still better than hus cause i always saw such worth it cheap stuffs which are not cheap. Lol. But the main reason we went to BHG and OG was to look for curtains that can block the sunlight. End up, we bought quite alot of baby stuffs that we missed out. Haha.
Hus bought a fisherprice rocker for lil damien cause the discount price very seductive.
It cost around $250 before discount and we bought it only at $180. We went to babyfair and hus
said that baby fair also selling at discount price. Meaning babyfair like not babyfair cause not cheaper. Lol. We did went to babyfair at Taka too but it's too crowded and the cashier queue is
ridiculars long and so we didnt buy anything there. Okay, back to OG. Lol.
Besides buying the fisherprice rocker, we also bought one more lamaze high contrast
black and white panda rattle toy for lil damien. Black, white and red is good for babies to
stimulate their vision. We bought one the other time and decided to buy one more.
We also bought nail clipper specially for babies and a digital thermometer.
Everything we bought that day cost us around $300 plus. Hole in hus pocket! Lol.
But most of the things i want to buy are neccesities for lil damien, while hus see and bought those that are more of luxury stuffs for him. But still, rocker is neccessary just that maybe hus dont need see so expensive and good one. Cause after i give birth i will be working.
And mother in law will be the only one taking care of lil damien. Cant be put him in our room
while she do her stuffs and household chores. Likethat if lil damien cry or what how will she know. So actually rocker also is a neccessary item. Lol. First baby really got alot of things to buy.
I dont really believe when my friend told me but when we went shopping for baby stuffs,
really got alot things to buy. Lol. We bought detergent specially to wash baby clothes also,
and 2 in one shampoo plus baby body wash also. I really want the best for lil damien!
I really cant wait to see my baby though i really afraid of delivery. The thing i am most afraid of is pain and many many people tell me that giving birth is the most painful thing or it's damn painful. I hear already really will scared, cause i know giving birth is not an easy task at all.
But still i will jiayou and tahan one, for the sake of lil damien. I must tahan! Lol.
And i want to thank hus, for all the things he had done for me and lil damien.
He really became matured alot after he know that he's going to be a daddy till now,
he's more understanding and more loving. He will very gan qiong baby things.
Think alot about baby stuffs etc when he's one that dont like baby till now i see him change
till like a very fatherly father. I see already really very touched.
Everything is worth it, pregnant carrying lil damien for 9 months, and going through all the pain i've went through and will be going through soon. It's worth it! I love you hus. Love you lots!!